Halfway to Seventy

Now that I've updated the events of August, a month of just being "present" and doing a bunch of fun things, I can start September, an emotional month with many high and lows and much more serious content.

The month began with my birthday which, for the past 4 years, has increasingly become more difficult. I don't mind aging, in and of itself, but it is still a reminder to me of so many things in our lives. This past year of my life brought about my first cavities and receding gumlines, my first pair of reading glasses, and my doctor's serious recommendation for a baseline mammogram. Yay! Can a person be any more excited to have any of those issues to deal with and then have them all come up the same year?! So... I have to heat my soft-bristle toothbrush with hot water prior to brushing, I have to wear my glasses as I look at a computer all day, and I got the girls squished.

But the real difficulty on my birthday is in realizing yet another year of potential fertility has passed us by. It's been over five and a half years of trying to get pregnant. I'm now in the "high risk" and "advanced maternal age" categories if I do, miraculously, become pregnant. My birthday brings with it another year of loved and cherished moments but also takes away another year of availability to try and achieve what most people take for granted. It's always a very bittersweet day and I was so thankful my husband respects my feelings and keeps things relatively subdued for me. I had a great dinner the night before my actual birthday with my parents and some really good friends... a GREAT dinner! But when I awoke the next morning, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry. And I did, for a bit. But then I had to wake up and make breakfast, clean, make lunch, clean, make dinner, clean... all in a day's work!