HP Strikes Again

When we were in town visiting our children, we were able to meet-up with another HP (Hannah's Prayer) friend of mine. We met for breakfast Saturday morning so we were also able to meet each other's spouses. Meeting K was like meeting an old friend, someone I've known for awhile. Talking and laughing with each other was very natural and easy-going. J is military, too, so he and Gil had things in common, not to mention J&K just bought a new boat so there was plenty of talking about that and Gil drooling over it! We had a great time and probably could've talked all day but we were due to go meet our kids for some play time so we had to part ways... for now!


I may not "need" HP as much for infertility support as I did when I joined over two years ago but some of the friendships I've created there have been a true blessing from God. And now that I've been able to meet two of them IRL (in real life), an even greater blessing. I can't wait to meet some of my other "neighbors"!

Weekend Update

"Weekend Update"... LOL! Makes me think of SNL (Satu.rday Nig.ht L.ive) when it was good and funny to watch in the early '90's. Maybe it's simply a generational thing and that's why I can't stand to watch it anymore. When Da.na Car.vey, Mi.ke Mey.ers and Ch.ris Fa.rley left, the show ended for me.

Anyhoozers... none of you are wondering about SNL and my views on it... you're wanting to know how our first weekend with our kiddos went! In a word: FANTASTIC! I was so nervous walking up to the house... Foster-mom had sent her other kiddos to a drop-in child care (which sounded like a mini theme park so they weren't too distraught at going!) so we would only be bombarded with our own children. We walked in and the younger two were jumping on the couch (I knew I should've bought that trampoline when I saw it on sale!) and our oldest was watching a show on tv that he wasn't too happy at having turned off before it was over. He settled down quickly, though, which was a good sign. We were tickling and romping around with all 3 of them before we even knew it and they were climbing on us and giving us hugs... very happy, well-adjusted children. At dinner time, they sat, ate and were very well-behaved. The boys have big appetites but throughout the weekend, we found that our youngest could probably out-eat the other two combined!

I guess I should introduce you to them: L is 4 years old and a "big boy". He has a very engaging personality, loves to talk all about race cars and trains, and likes to play basketball. He has a mouth full of caps and pulled teeth due to excessive bottle use and soft enamel issues but they're all baby teeth that'll be replaced with permanents in the coming years. R is 3 years old. She's very quiet with her words but loud and forthcoming with her giggles. She likes her baby dolls and kitchen toys (and yes, the color pink) but gets rough with the boys just as easily. S is 2 years old and such a little sweetheart. He's very quiet though he does speak. He loves being tickled and though he'll follow his older siblings in their daredevil shenanigans, he'll think it through first and then act once he decides on what the outcome will be. They all like Do.ra the Exp.lorer and Veg.gie Tales. L loves Light.ning Mc.Q.ueen, racecars and trains so our plans to decorate the boys' bedroom in cars and automobiles will work pretty well. R's already become quite the Daddy's girl and S, well shoot... S is probably the most loving and snuggly little 2 y/o a Momma could ask for.

We've decided to change their names, using their birth names where we felt we could and should. We had names picked out for our children but when we met them, decided that they really didn't fit. We waited until our drive home today to start talking about their names and it took us about 4-6 hours before we could decide on anything that fit and that we liked. We'll spend a couple of months transitioning them not only into our home and family, but into their names. Our children are the most blessedly perfect children God could have given us. We feel very lucky that through this foster-care system we all hear horror stories about, we are receiving the gift of 3 young children who are well-balanced, charming, and loving. We are blessed that we've had two of the best foster-parents we ever could've hoped for caring for our children until they were able to come home to us.

We spent Friday evening at their foster-parents' house and had dinner with them before saying goodnight and seeing them off to bed. Saturday we met for lunch and then, after their naps, went back to play and then took them out to dinner. We did take some pictures but until we have finalized our adoption with them, we cannot post any pictures online for their safety. Sunday, we picked them up for breakfast before going back to pack the truck full of some of their things. Their foster-parents are being extremely generous as they don't plan on taking additional foster placements. They currently have a son (whom they've adopted) in their home and 3 additional young foster children they are planning to adopt. They sent totes and boxes of clothes, toys, books, videos, as well as giving us toddler beds and car seats. I'm in the process of sorting through them to see what all's there so we can figure out what all we still need.

I have a busy week cleaning and organizing the house to be ready for bringing them home this next weekend (in addition to working 10-hour days). We have some smoke damage my mom is coming down tomorrow to help with and piles upon piles of laundry (our clothes, all the smoke-damaged items from the coat closet and linen closet, plus the bags of children's clothes and bedding sent home with us). It's going to be a busy week. But at the end of it, we get to go spend a weekend swimming and visiting museums with our children and then we bring them home on Sunday!

New Friends

In between all the projects we're trying to complete this week in preparation for bringing our children home, I was blessed to be able to have dinner with a new friend last night (Tuesday). This is a friend from "HP", what we "locals" affectionately refer to when speaking of Hannah's Prayer, our online Christian support for infertility, pregnancy/adoption loss, and all things related to the matter (and NOT related, for that matter! We can get some crazy, off-the-wall subject threads going!).

This friend, M, is one of the few (there are 4 of us) from our state in this online community and when we moved last summer, we moved within 20 miles of where M lives! Yes, it's taken us 8 months to get together, but we finally met!


This is a horrible picture as my little "pocket" camera I keep in my purse for occasions such as this is getting used and abused and needs to be replaced. I'm glad I'm realizing this now, though, so I remember to lug along our big, fancy camera for good pictures this weekend. I'll be meeting another HP friend Saturday morning for breakfast when we travel to her city... which is where we'll be meeting our children!!!

Nesting Period?

We had our meeting with the children's social worker on Friday and it's official... we will be meeting them this weekend and bringing OUR children home on March 7th! In a record-breaking, shortest ever gestation period of 3 weeks, I had this past weekend to "nest". I spent it painting the kids' bedrooms. My folks came down on Saturday and helped out tremendously. Dad muscled a bunch of boxes and stuff from our daughter's room that has been used as extra storage since we moved in. Mom and I worked for a good 3 hours or so on some wallpaper border in the boys' room before we could start painting. I still have half of a room to paint (freshening color, so it'll go fast, but this is the room I hadn't planned on painting) and trim to hang. We'll know more after this first visit how much we still need to get in order and next week will be even busier, I'm sure.

Gil spent the weekend in the workshop trying to get some furniture built that's been on our short-list of things for the house. So far, he's built two high-top tables for our game room, two end-tables and a coffee table for the living room. Tomorrow night, he'll start on the entertainment "hutch" for the living room. We have a flat screen mounted on the wall so a traditional entertainment center isn't necessary, but he's building me something similar to a dining room buffet to store our tv/dvd/stereo equipment and cubbies for our cd's and dvd's. Mm-hmm... you know all that building this week only means I get to stain and varnish next week... like I won't have enough to do already!

Tomorrow, I have a meeting with my bosses about my work schedule. We cannot afford for me to quit working or even go part-time at this point (or ever, maybe). But during this first year (give or take a month), we really need to have a constant presence in our children's lives because of the nature of adopting older children. We don't want to out-source our child care at this point and really want to have as much quality bonding time with them as possible. So... many prayers that this meeting will go well and I'll be able to optimize my time with the kids during their "awake" time.

Wow.

Wow!

WOW!

Gil and I are going to be parents! We ARE expectant parents! We will get to meet our children in 10 days! And we'll probably bring them home in about 2-1/2 weeks! Three of them! Ages 2, 3 and 4! Two boys and a girl!

We got the call yesterday afternoon that we were chosen by our state's DCFS and the tribe where these children are enrolled. Most importantly, we were chosen by God and we are honored to be called to the duty and blessing of being parents to these 3 beautiful children. OUR children!

Our social worker called us about 3 weeks ago asking if we'd consider submitting our study on this sibling group and we excitedly said yes. We went to her office and read over the few pages of records she happened to have on these kiddos so we could know a little bit about what they've gone through up to this point. Everything sounds really promising.

We have a meeting on Friday with the kids' social worker, the current foster mom, and possibly the placement specialist (I'm unsure if that's the right term or not) to discuss and plan the transition of visits and bringing them home. It sounds like it's going to happen very quickly.

The order was granted to terminate parental rights of the birth parents earlier this week so we're now in the 60-day period of where the birth-parents have the "opportunity" to file an appeal but I seriously doubt it's going to happen and they don't have a leg to stand on if they do. All that would happen is we'd be tied up waiting on court dates and it just postpones the inevitable... which is legalizing our adoption! They would still live with us throughout that whole time. If we make it through this period without an appeal, we still have a 6 month period to get through before we can legally adopt our children. We're so hoping and praying we'll be able to give them our last name by Christmas.

We've had to decide to give up trying to get pregnant through assisted technologies for at least a year while we acclimate to the children and they to us, but we still haven't given up hope of a biological child. We may now have children but we're still infertile. And we still ache from that. The path of infertility is so vastly different from the path of adoption and that pain has nothing to do with the joy and excitement we're now feeling.

I know I haven't posted anything in the past two weeks but in addition to the stress and nerves the possibility of this situation has brought on, we've also been dealing with Gil's uncle and the effects he's having from the cancer. He had a second hospital admission this past weekend, about a month after his last one. He gets too sick to even proceed with chemo so he hasn't had a treatment in a month now.

We also came to the very sad conclusion that we have to sell our bikes, the Har.leys. This horrible economy is not very conducive to selling anything so we're hoping and praying we can get rid of them. We've had them listed for two weeks already and not even a nibble.

But WE'RE PARENTS! We are over-the-moon ecstatic right now and are eagerly awaiting our meeting on Friday so we can figure out just how much we'll have to do to prepare to bring our children home. We'll only have this weekend. I have one bedroom painted but I have to figure out where I'm going to store everything I've had in there! So I really only have one bedroom to paint, as we're going to put the boys together until they're a bit older and then they can have their own rooms. I'll be posting pictures... probably so much so that you'll all be sick of it!

I guess the tone of my blog is going to change a little bit. It'll now contain much more about our children. I may have to make it private. I may stop blogging. I don't know. I'll keep you informed of that decision, too.

But for now... WOOHOO! We're parents!!

I'm Diseased

On November 30th, 2009, the Worl.d Heal.th Or.ganization finally classified infertility as a "disease". A real live, official disease. What was it before?

Unrecognized.

Wil.liam Gi.bbons MD, President of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) states: “We applaud the WHO for leading this important effort and for being so clear about the disease status of infertility. For too long those suffering from infertility have had their condition slighted or even ignored. Insurance companies don’t pay to treat it, governments don’t put adequate resources to study it and consequently patients suffer. We hope that this international recognition that infertility is, in fact, a disease will allow it to be treated like other diseases.” (Source: ASRM Press Release)

Pame.la Tsi.gdinos blogged about this yesterday (click here to read her post). Hopefully she's correct when she states: "With such a proclamation, we move that much closer to a new generation of women and men getting respect and help to fight a disease that has too long been overlooked..."

I'm a bit disheartened this classification didn't make bigger waves in the news or medical world. If there was a new type of virus or cancer that was "classified as a disease", you can bet your bottom dollar everyone would've heard about it. As it is, if I weren't a fan of Pame.la's on Fac.ebook, I wouldn't have heard about it at all. And I work in the medical community!

I really hope this disease classification brings about change in the research and insurance industry sooner rather than later. I only have a few years left!

Monday's Musings

I am thankful for... others who love me enough to pray for me when I'm unable to pray for myself.

Outside my window... slush and mud. Our winter thus far has consisted of a day or two of snowing, not accumulating more than an inch or two, followed by a week of sunshine and melting. Yuck. I just want some snow to pile on and be cold enough to stick with us for a month or so.

I am going... insane from stress and worry. I am not fearful of what my future holds but I do worry about loving the future God has planned for me.

I am reading... I'm still trying to get through Adopting the Hurt Child but honestly haven't read much else than medical records over the past week.

I am hoping... for some good news this week.

I am hearing... the tv. Mondays just aren't very exciting in my life.

One of my favorite things... hosting get-togethers... and I'm looking forward to having some family and friends over for the Su.per Bo.wl this coming weekend. We're going to have Indian tacos (mmm!). I'm also going to make spinach artichoke dip with toasted baguettes, mini weenie wraps, lots of fresh veggies. And we can't have football without beer.

Here is a picture I'm sharing... our friend and sister-by-choice. It's her birthday today. Happy Birthday, L!