4 Years and an Update

This week marks four years that Gil and I have been ttc (trying to conceive). Four years! That moves us from the label of "primary infertility" (PI) to "long term primary infertility" (LTPI). After the past year of lows and not-so-lows (I wouldn't say "highs"), I thought this landmark would be really difficult for me. But it's not as hard as I thought it would be, unless it just hasn't hit me yet. There are so many possibilities of things to happen throughout this next year; I don't know if the thought of it all is keeping my mind preoccupied and off the sadness of our continued IF and inability to conceive... or if I'm slowly learning how to deal with it and accept the possibility of living as a family of two. This doesn't mean I'm ready to give up the idea of growing our family further, but maybe I'm finally turning it over to God as I should've done all along and realizing that I have absolutely no control over whatever miracles may come our way. I don't know... I'm thinking as I type, which is unusual for me. I usually mull it over and over and write my thoughts down in outline format before putting them out here in public. All I know is that it's not like me to reach an "anniversary" such as this and not be crying and falling into yet another depression. So I see this as a very good thing.

One thing I'm planning for the new year... I plan to make an appointment with an endocrinologist. I haven't seen one since the first year of my diagnosis of PCOS and I'm eager to re-address the situation. I have been off my meds for almost two years now and I want to see how my hormone levels have reacted. I know how my weight has reacted, and the infertility drugs last year definitely didn't help with that, either. Yikes!

Speaking of which... I also plan to further institute the low GI (glycemic index) diet into our lifestyle. I've been working on it since last summer, slowly integrating elements so that we don't shock ourselves by going all or nothing at a single time. It's a much easier adjustment this way and allows us to accept it as a life-long change. I think I'll start posting some of the recipes and such that I've fallen in love with and new recipes I've yet to try.

Now... here's the update... it's a BIG update! Gil and I found out this week that we have officially been APPROVED to foster/adopt! Our social worker finished and submitted our study around the time of Gil's birthday just before Christmas. We're now just waiting on a signature from a "higher up" and we're to expect our letter of notice in the mail within the next week. Yay! :)