Path to Insanity

I'm sorry. Again. Seems like all I'm doing lately is apologizing for not writing on my blog. There's just so much going on. The whole moving thing disrupted our already chaotic life. Now we're looking for house and land to buy while we're still living here and it's difficult to "see" what we're looking at. Specs that look good on paper don't always look so good in person.

Gil's job is going great... except for the fact that it takes him from me every week. It'll be better once we move and he can actually come home some evenings. But for now, he's working there and living here so he stays there during the week. In the midst of packing, it leaves me feeling a little lonely and overwhelmed, despite the outpouring of offers to help from friends who are already missing me. (I'm already missing them, too. The worst part about moving is leaving my friends here.)

I've been very lucky to be able to retain my job. They're going to let me keep my current duties and work remotely from home on a "trial" basis. If it ends up not working so well being off-site, we'll look for other duties I can perform without having to have so much person-to-person contact. As it is, I already have to plan for at least 4 trips back just through the summer. Ugh. But I'm grateful that I don't have to look for work on top of everything else.

The biggest thing that happened this week is the laparoscopy and tubal dye study I had yesterday. I was more freaked about having to have an IV than I was about the actual procedure. We have a brand new outpatient surgery facility and it was nice to be able to test it out and see it for myself. It's a beautiful facility and I love the care I received. Truth be told, I was really hoping for a positive pg test so I wouldn't actually have to go through the procedure, but it was negative (no real surprise there). They had this really cool gown for me to wear. It was discardable, sure, but it could be hooked up to a heater (think hair dryer) that pumped warm air all through it to keep me warm. I told Gil I needed one for home! Talk about being pampered! Then the anesthesiogist came and talked with me and I really liked him. He said I probably wouldn't remember anything of my time in the "induction" room before surgery but I do and I told him afterward that he was a liar for saying that. I remember absolutely everything up to the point of my 6th "deep breath" after laying on the operating table.

I went in at 9:45 and was only in there for about an hour; Gil was able to bring me home by 1:30 in the afternoon. I really disliked coming out of that anesthetic fog and I was pretty droopy... I slept until 6:30 last night before I felt like I could stay awake for any length of time. They put little Snoopy bandaids on my incision sites, and they're just a bit sore today. No major pain... my arms and shoulders were a bit sore last night but that's now cut back to just the shoulders. The shoulder pain is due to the amount of gas blown into my abdominal cavity pressing my diaphragm up into my lungs and therefore pressing everything up against my shoulder region. I have some dye stains on some unmentionable areas that I worked on cleaning this morning (mostly to no avail). Because the dye was blue, Gil said it looked like I "ate some smurfs and got the squirts!" Sorry if that's TMI!!! I'm grounded to the house today, though; Gil's at work but I've had two friends already stop in and Gil brought home lunch, mom's called a couple of times, so now I've been checked on plenty and I'm ready for a nap as soon as I publish this post.

Findings of the procedure, you ask? Not much. One of my fallopian tubes had a difficult time allowing any flow through and something was odd with the fimbria, but it sounds like she worked on it 'til she got the dye to flow more freely through it. My ovaries are about as nasty as to be expected with my very stereotypical PCOS. Sorry, the findings were discussed with Gil while I was out so I don't have anything more specific than that. I asked him if she said anything about endo and she didn't, so I'm assuming I don't have any... which is good. I know it's good, but it's all somewhat bittersweet. I like not having any (bad) additional findings but I hate not knowing what's causing the pain and abnormal bleeding. Oh well. I'll focus on the fact that it's good news.

Guess I'd better contact our social worker, too. I haven't let him know we're moving yet. Been putting it off because I don't want any adoption possibilities to be put on hold. Ergh. Hopefully, we'll find a house right away and get re-inspected and back on the list as soon as possible.